Perfection is an Abstraction that Doesn’t Exist: Let’s Get Real About Beauty

Written by Liesl Ma from Massachusetts, USA

One night quite recently, I scrolled through Snapchat, layering filter after filter onto my face. My nose looked smaller, my skin impossibly smooth, my lips fuller. When I finally posted the picture, I realized something unsettling—I had shared a photo of a girl who didn’t even exist. It hit me then just how deeply beauty standards had wormed their way into my mind, making me feel like my real face needed embellishing in order to be beautiful.

Social media and the beauty industry keep rewriting beauty standards, and the more they do, the more they damage our self-esteem. They convince us that beauty is something to be edited, filtered, and perfected—something always just slightly out of reach. But that constant chase leaves so many of us feeling like we’ll never measure up (D’Amour).

In the 1990s, diet culture abounded, making the fear of being "too fat" a constant pressure. Today, the focus has shifted—a fear of aging has now taken center stage. Anti-aging skincare routines, cosmetic procedures, and filters that erase ‘flaws’ have become linked with beauty, making women anxious at younger and younger ages. But why do we feel this way, and how do we break free from these toxic beauty standards?

Social media plays a pivotal role in spreading these unreachable ideals. Platforms like Instagram, TikTok, and Snapchat flood us with filters that create ‘perfect’ faces, making it hard to remember what real, authentic beauty can look like. Young girls still figuring out their self-image are especially vulnerable to these fake portrayals (Gill).

When I scroll through my feed, I feel the same pressure many others do—to look “perfect,” to match the edited images that fill our screens. Even worse is the rising demand for cosmetic procedures designed to copy these filtered faces. Remember the age of ‘photoshopped images’? That is long gone—now the pressure isn’t just about ‘touching up’ an image or smacking makeup on a pimple; it’s about permanently changing our faces and bodies to match an image that might not even be real (Welch).

It’s easy to say this is just how things are now, to accept it and move on. But I can’t help feeling scared when I think about how these standards are passed down, especially from mothers to daughters. While a supportive mother can teach confidence and self-acceptance, there’s only so much she can do against the overwhelming influence of social media. Trends move fast, filters create impossible ideals, and the pressure to conform is constant. Without real change, even the strongest role models can’t compete with the power of a digital world that keeps redefining beauty.

I was lucky - my mother was my first mirror, shaping how I saw beauty before I even understood it myself. She never chased impossible perfection or let aging define her worth. Instead, she carried herself with confidence, showing me that true beauty isn’t about wrinkle-free skin or flawless features—it’s about honesty, strength, and self-acceptance. Because of her, I learned to see beauty beyond society’s narrow expectations. But I do believe that myself and my mother might not be the norm. Unfortunately, this issue is too big for thoughtful, supportive mothers to solve on their own.

In recent years, the pressure to meet unrealistic beauty standards has led many people to undergo extreme cosmetic procedures, often changing their natural looks. This trend is fueled by a culture that ties youth and perfection to self-worth and attractiveness, pushing people to take drastic steps to match these ideals. The numbers are concerning; according to the American Society of Plastic Surgeons, millions of cosmetic procedures are performed each year, with a growing number of young people opting for invasive surgeries to alter their faces (American Society of Plastic Surgeons). Procedures like Botox, fillers, and facelifts have become so common that aging naturally is now feared instead of embraced (Green).

Many people, in their pursuit of perfection, end up permanently changing their appearances in ways that make them almost unrecognizable.

Actress Julia Roberts speaks about the importance of staying true to yourself, saying, "Your face tells a story, and it shouldn’t be a story about your drive to the doctor’s office" (Hunter). Perhaps she felt compelled to take this stance after she received an onslaught of terribly negative and hurtful comments on an Instagram post in which she, sans makeup, celebrates her niece’s birthday.

These messages from the voices of Hollywood women who stand at the front line against the detrimental impact of beauty standards remind us that true beauty comes from being authentic, not from chasing trends that can lead to physical and emotional harm.

As I move through this world, I remind myself that true beauty is found in being real. Embracing who we are should be the new standard. The pressure to meet impossible ideals has to stop.

We have the power to reject this narrative—not just for ourselves, but for the generations that follow. It’s time for society to support a healthier, more inclusive view of beauty—one that celebrates all kinds of people. Teenagers shouldn’t feel pressured to alter their faces or bodies to fit unrealistic ideals, and parents shouldn’t enable these harmful expectations by paying for unnecessary cosmetic procedures. True beauty isn’t found in surgery or filters—it’s in confidence, authenticity, and self-acceptance. Let’s shift the focus away from perfection and toward embracing who we truly are.

We are beautiful as we are, and it’s time we start believing it.

Bibliography:

American Society of Plastic Surgeons. "Plastic Surgery Statistics." Plastic Surgery.org, https://www.plasticsurgery.org/news/plastic-surgery-statistics.

D’Amour, Alexandra. "Toxic Beauty and Its Impact on Girls." The New York Times, 24 Feb. 2024, https://www.nytimes.com/2024/02/24/opinion/toxic-beauty-girls.html.

Gill, Martha. "Social Media Isn't Driving the Plastic Surgery Boom. Who Doesn't Want to Look Better?" The Guardian, 6 Oct. 2024, https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2024/oct/06/social-media-isnt-driving-the-plastic-surgery-boom-who-doesnt-want-to-look-better.

Green, William. "More People Getting Plastic Surgery." Botonics, 23 Sept. 2024, www.botonics.co.uk/blog/cosmetic-surgery/more-people-getting-plastic-surgery/. Accessed 23 Feb. 2025.

Grace, Asia. "Women Feel Invisible at a Shockingly Low Age—Study Reveals Why They Blame Fashion." New York Post, 30 Jan. 2025, https://nypost.com/2025/01/30/lifestyle/women-feel-invisible-at-a-shockingly-low-age-study-reveals-why-they-blame-fashion/.