An Open Letter to Homophobic Bullies

Written by Anonymous

Dear Homophobic Bullies,

I know you. You are the stranger who, upon seeing my rainbow flag lanyard at school, started laughing. You are the stranger who would continuously name-call me, single me out, and make me feel completely out of place. You are the stranger who hated me.

But why? 

Why did you see me as an enemy before you ever talked to me?

Feel free to correct me if I am wrong, because maybe you did not hate me; instead, you hated what you saw in me: queerness, difference, and the unknown. Maybe, growing up, you, like half of your male peers, were asked to live like a “real man” — and were told that is the only way you, or any other boy, should ever live. If that is the case, I feel very, very sorry on your behalf. You never knew that there was more than one way to be a man — to be anyone, in fact. 

But that does not mean you can or should hurt other people. You should know how suffocating it is to live under the burden of orthodox masculinity. So, why imprison yourself more by passing it on to other people?

I’ll admit, with the rise of male figures like Andrew Tate, it may seem like being mean and close-minded offers a convenient route to popularity. But, before you try to recreate that cult-like popularity for yourself, maybe take a look at what exactly it is that you are creating: in building your masculine dominance off of meanness and isolation, you, my friend, are creating an environment where, in order for someone to go up, they need to tear someone else down. While this might not sound like an issue to you now, it may well be one day when someone else wants that social pedestal of yours. So, why put yourself under constant threat?

Maybe I was, again, wrong in my assumptions. Maybe all of this has nothing to do with anyone else. Maybe all of this is only you trying to make friends. After all, nothing seems to unite people more than a common enemy. But really, what kinds of friends are you making —  when your friendships are sustained by your one-sided supply of meanness-coated entertainment? I would think twice about grouping yourself with people who do not see your intrinsic worth.

Please do not get me wrong; I am not writing this letter to shame you or intimidate you. I have moved on, but I am writing in the hopes that you can move on as well.

So, for your own sake, please stop.

With care,

Anonymous, on behalf of the millions of gay kids bullied worldwide